I am new to bloging and feeling very inadequate at this moment.
Right now I do not attend any church congregation because I believe that Jesus called me out of that.
For many years I’ve been longing for something more. Even after Jesus filled me with His precious Spirit I craved for more. There was something missing. Yes I faithfully supported and attended the congregation I had aligned myself with, yet… It was the “yet” that was starving me spiritually. There was a hunger, a hole if you will, in my spirit a thirst in my soul. Something was missing.
Year after year I was devotedly attended, preached, worshipped, tithed and followed the pastor when I my self was not pasturing. I followed the doctrine that was taught to me and participating in the leadership structure both as follower and leader. Something was missing, though.
Hunger, tears of frustration, dissatisfaction! I am a Christian; I was not supposed to feel this way. I was supposed to be filled with “joy unspeakable and full of glory”, peace, fulfillment a life of contentment.
Being Apostolic I could only ask one guilt-ridden question: What was wrong with me? I was certainly a carnal, backsliding Christian not “doing right” in the sight of Jesus, right?
Guilt, shame, inadequate, carnal, feelings of worthlessness and frustration always carrying the burden of guilt not of peace. What a miserable life!
It was then that I joined the swelling ranks of those who have “left the church” but not left Jesus in search of a better more fulfilled Christian life, free of the dogmas, and structure that have so long caused me pain.
If you can identify with this blog, please feel free to comment and tell us your story.
